Friday, February 25, 2005

What's Love Got to Do With it?

Well, cutie pie didn't call me back last night and I haven't seen him since we kissed. To say the least my feelings are hurt and I'm like wide open. But, I'm kewl. Dealing with it, learning to accept it- you would think that one day I would learn that "kisses aren't contracts". (the original poem- both noteworthy of reading, although some folks were never taught about plaguarism)However, thus far this hasn't happened.

I laid in bed last night, thinking to myself just kick this niggah to the curb, but then I was like well maybe he has a good "excuse"; then again we make time for what we want to make time for. And then I was like well shyt just call someone else because I mean shyt it ain't like other brothas ain't trying to holla. But, I wouldn't allow myself to call someone else cause I would have been with them thinking about him. So, I just laid in bed, reanalyzing the situation or what some might say was/is "torturing myself".

I talked with a buddy's of mine yesterday who's also a poet/ he said when did u meet this guy/ i was like/ ah on sunday night/ and i was ranting n raving about this n that/ he was like/ so your simply infatuated with this dude/ i was like what?/ he was like it's infatuation/ well maybe it is/ n if it is/ infatuation is a bitch/ and now i'm sitten here thinking & rethinking/ my every move with this dude/ wondering/ trying to figure out what i did wrong/ where & how did i move in the wrong direction/ and it's uncomprehensible because if he doesn't like me/ then it was what it was/ simply a kiss/ n i'm going to have to accept that/ becuz kisses aren't contracts/ and holding a hand ain't chaining a soul/ but then it gets much deeper/ LIKE/ why do i always fall for guys who can't/don't want to/ or aren't capable of "liking""loving" "falling" for me? Am I just on some ole destructive shyt or am i simply singing Tine Turner's fool in love ?

I simply don't know. All I know is that last night, I didn't call someone else to be with/have sex with/ occupy my time with. cause/ I can't/don't want to do the same dumb shyt again/ it's time to accept that things don't often go my way- that life is sometimes lonely- sometimes disappointing but i got to keep moving- nose wide open and all..... - What does love have to do with it? EVERYTHING!!!!


Olgraeeye said...

Just calm down...I've been with my man for 10 months and when we first started talking he NEVER called back but after a few months...the calls started being returned and then the calls started coming at various times throughout the day and now we talk everyday and yes, every now and then I don't get the call back but I don't take it personal because like my man told me...."You can always call me too". So give it awhile...take it slow and remember that you can call him too.
"The good ones don't get hooked in a week...their hearts take time to open"

The LoveHater said...

Emo Bro that song line reminds me of another song. Take a listen to this

Ricky said...

You remind of me of me in so many ways, just from reading your blog. No you are not a fool, you are human and just learning. I used to have my nose wide open if a guy just asked my name or held my hand. Had to learn love is something that is just not instant but something that grows over time. So give it time....