Matters of the heart

Yesterday, I stopped to get some Chinese food- just getting over the flu and my appetite is back so, I had a taste for some good ole "cat & dog"...yep CAT & DOG...So, I stop by the ATM to get some cash, can you believe at this day and age some Chinese folks don't want to take a credit card.- they hang up fancy signs that read CASH ONLY, as they smile with their slanted eyes and pearly whites.

So, anyway, I go over to the local Chinese spot and order me some Won Ton Soup and a small General Tso's chicken. I'm sitting there waiting on my order, when this young brother walks in and he's soak and wet from the rain- I mean it did rain like a bitch yesterday- and he says something, almost so inaudible I can't hear what he saying and he says "can you help a brotha out with some change". Now, I wanted to scream "get a fucking job", but my heart went out for this brotha for whatever reason.

So, I give the fool two dollars. Why, I do that for? So, now he thinks he can sit here and talk to me until my food comes. So, you know me, what the hell- let's be nosey! So, I'm flooding him with like 10, 00 questions like "yo bro what you doing in the raiN?" "how old r u","DO YOU WORK" ETC... So, the brotha tells me that he's locked out of the house- he lives with his brother supposedly and his brother doesn't get off work till 10 PM. I'm like damn, it's like maybe 5 PM right now.. So, I'm really feeling bad for this brotha- so he starts asking me questions like how old am i? what am i doing, etc. I'm like shyt, chillen, getting some grub and going to the crib to chill out- so to make a long story short- somehow or another we end up with him coming back to my crib to chill- I'm like whatever because I was all lonely and shyt I'm intruiged as hell how someone could sit up in the rain for like hours- shyt I guess if you put two and two together- you can easily guess it can only be a few things..and i mean theres always signs..

So, to get back to the point.. so, my food is finally ready. I grab my bag and me and this brotha walk to my car. I tell him you know we can hang out and he can dry off for a while at least. He's like kewl.. then ask me do I smoke? Sign #1 I'm like nah, I don't smoke cigarrettes. He's like oh ok, what do you smoke? I'm like I smoke weed once in a while. He's like ok, kewl and tells me he smokes cocaine SIGN #2. I'm like wholly shyt, what the fuck have I gotten myself into- I'm lonely muthefuckka but I ain't fitten to hang out wit no crack head! So, I'm suppressing my disgust and still being nosey. So, I'm like how long you been smoking cocaine- and then the brotha says I smoke crack not cocaine.. I'm like ok big dog! Shyt, Whintey said crack was whack right, so why this mofo didn't get the memo. So, I'm really caught off guard now. ... So, I aks this brotha how long you been smoking crack and how does it feel? He's like since he was 18 and he loves the high. I'm like what does the high feel like, not that I'm going to do some cause I'm sared of that shyt. My dad is a crack head so I'm already prone to like it so, I leave that shyt alone!

Anyway, we finally get to my house and I offer this brotha some food but he's like he ain't hungry. I'm like well man, I'm going to eat. So, I'm eating and then he starts talking this bullshyt about wanting to make some money- and I'm like how you going to do that? And he's like I don't know... do you mess around? I'm like "mess around?" playing REAL stupid wit this negro- "what in the world do you mean mess around?" And he's like getting real nervous cause I don't flipped the script on his ass... he's like "do you like men" I'm like do you niggah? And he's like ahhh... yeah... and I'm like seeing all the light bulbs go off in my head GET THIS MOFO OUT YOUR CRIB BEFORE U COME HOME N DONT HAVE A CRIB! So, this mofo tells me he's basically selling himself. I tell these mofo I don't pay for sex man... look at me and then look at u, why should I pay you to have sex with me?????????????????????????

Anyway, man I gave that brotha $4 for leaving my muthafuckken house and hopefully I will still have a house since I put his ass directly out for coming to me with that bs-- and I'm mad at myself for not seeing the signs... Damn, I really do have a heart--- I try to help a brotha get out the rain and this brotha is selling his 24 year old body for crack! Ain't that a bitch! Does life matter anymore when people are disrespecting themselves to that extent? I mean damn! I don't get it, is a high so good that you would lose your job, lose your crib, lose everything because you love a high? Shyt, hate to say it, but now I know why his brother locks his ass out the crib, because he wants to still have a crib when he returns everynight and damn this whole thing weighs heavy on my heart!