Last night, as I started to clean my dirty behind apartment- things were moving in me- I thought at first maybe this was because I hadn't eaten- but that wasn't it- As I cleaned my apartment, it was as if I was cleaning my soul- cleaning my brain from the waste of my childhood/adulthood/ misconceptions/ n miscalculations of what my life has/ and had become- which is nothing like what i thought it would be as a child- so i sat there disorganized and confused as I went from room to room cleaning a lil bit of this/ throwing this away and that away/ but not really cleaning up anything in the big scope of things- When suddenly I told myself clean one room at a time/ it still took about 30 minutes before I listened to that voice inside me that said clean one room at a time/ finally able to capture and control my focus I started to clean my bathroom only/ discontinuing my scattered habit of cleaning all rooms ar one time/ but then realizing i wasn't cleaning at all-
Well I scrubbed my tub, cleaned my sink, scrubbed my toilet, swept and mopped the floor, cleaned the mirror- and the bathroom was done- Within that I cleaned yet another part of myself- because mysterious thoughts n feelings were seeping through my body-
I then proceed to the computer room/ walk in closet- at which time I took apart my computer and relocated it to another room/ the same happened with my bed/ kitchen table/ and other items-
I then ran out to target to buy a few things to freshen up my apartment and give my bathroom some color- To say the least I spent way to much money but when I woke up this morning and say my bathroom it was worth it.
At any rate, because I was so busy rearranging furnture and the such- I didn't completely finish cleaning my house- it was after 1am when I decided I needed to go to bed and finish cleaning today-
Before I went to bed last night, I sat in my bed looking at my apartment the clean spots and the still dirty spots/ how much work I accomplished and how much I still needed to do- in some ways it was a reminder of my life- there are lots of things I've addressed and many more that I'm still addressing or will address- sometimes I simply can't clean everything at once--