Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Random Thoughts (Follow-up)

I'm clicking my shoes three times because there's no place like *home*- I finally moved into my new apartment and thankfully a brotha is feeling a lil bit better than last week

- the issues are still coming up and I'm busting into tears at different times during the day but the good thing is I'm taking care of myself-

At any rate, my weekend was stressful but went well- I think I'm going to take a break (again) from some of the "g life" clubs and bars especially after getting way too much exposure at the "G parade" this Sunday- that shyt was a Hot Ass MEss!!!! Nah, a shitty mess!! I must be one of the most sheltered but not sheltered people out there because I had to try and stop my mouth from dropping many many many times looking at some of that craziness---

After the crazy ass parade where I ran into Darkandslender, who surprisingly introduced me to OldbutBuffasHell, I hit the beach for a minute to get a plate of food and a few drinks and then went home to change, picked-up Sweetness and departed from Navy Pier on the "g life" cruise, which was suprising as well- but not in a crazy way- Although I haven't seen that many bold lesbians in my life- I thought Sinead O Connor & Me'Shell NdegéOcello were the only bald head women running around- Boy was I wrong!!!

At any rate, the 3 1/2 hour cruise was interesting especially since it was supposed to be 4 1/2 hours- But at any rate, saw my first gay wedding on the cruise, which wasn't much- but almost brought a tear to my eyes- danced a few dances with Buff, talked, ate, laughed, with Sweetness- who everyone thought was the mother of the bride- Too damn funny..

Yesterday, worked all damn day, went home to move a few things than back to work for a Meeting and then back home to move more stuff- also, figured out yesterday that I'm just fucking crazy-- ain't got a bit of since- I'm way too emotional- and as my mentor told me when I was 19, "your way too emotional for any man to deal with- your going to drive any man crazy" well that's probably true- like some peeps say damn you want what women want everything- maybe that's true- love, security, someone to love me no matter what, a house, kids, a dog, a career, a spouse with a career- yeah I want it all

However, I'm not a woman, not bad as a woman, don't even want to be a woman- I'm worse than a woman- and that's some crazy shyt.....


SmilingOnThaDL said...


Sike nah.

Congrads on the new place. I need to start looking for my new place.. i'm tryna move by september.

Worse than a woman... my friends will say the same damn things. I want everything! And its all good, it comes with the price of waiting and expecting so much from every dude I attempted to be involved in.

Glad you had a good time at pride. I need to meet Sweetness, LOL!

Your brother in the struggle,


Fool That I Am said...

believe it or not...you're not going to be fine--you already are! It's okay to want what you want; in time, you'll have all that you desire. You're making moves that are going to take up more of your time, so look for those moments to drop off as soon as you take up the charge and do you!

Peaceful journeys to you...

Tim said...

Congrats on your own place man. Trust me, there's TRULY nothing like having your own!!!