2nd Chance OR Aim I really OK?

Well I took a sick day today in order to go to the Doctor... about what I thought was a possible burning sensation from my well you know from where, from my Dick. So, I got up early this morning in order to run into the office and get a few things done, I always have deadlines and I know it was supposed to be a sick day but still... so for what ever reason my phone went out... well the power went out. Well at any rate, when I notice, upon leaving my office of course. I hit the on button to turn my phone back on and to my suprise there were not one, not two, not three messages, BUT four new messages- all that in less than 45 minutes.

So, I checked my messages, first two I knew the caller and I was like ok, I'll call them in a minute.. the third message was from someone named Cliff- and the message said to call him back at 555-555-5555- So I hit 8 to dial the number and someone picks up the phone so I ask for Cliff, I'm placed on hold, then suddenly, a male caller says Chicago Department of Health, this is Cliff.. and my heart starts beating really really fast... and I'm like this is Emobro and I'm returning your call and he asks for some verification information and I'm like well who are you and what do you need my personal info for (you know alot of scammers out there these days)- Well, he says he has some important information for me, but he can't disclose it without verfying my identity, so I go through the run around until I feel that we can come to a negotiation in terms of how to identify me- we finally accomplish this meager task and I'm told the important information- Someone you've been with in the last year, recently tested postive for a STD and we need you to come into do some blood work.. so now my heart is really pumping and I'm thinking blood AND STD AND well you know the big one... Hiv/AIDS... so I start asking 20,000 questions and Cliff finally says well the person tested postive for syphlis and we just want you to come in to get tested and obtain treatment..

Well I made an appointment for between 2:00-3:00- he told me to just get there by 3:00- so I get there and I tell the people someone called me because someone tested postive for a STD and I need to be tested.. well after looking at me like I was drunk or crazy, the nurse takes me in and drawls my blood... right after I feel out the registration and than I'm instructed to sit down and wait for the Doctor... 10 minutes later the counselour comes to talk to me.. he asks me about my sexual practices and if I want an Hiv test.. I breath really heavy scared as all hell and then agree to get tested..he pricks my finger and instructs me not to move... he then swipes the blood up and puts it in a cup.. for the next 20 minutes i end up sweating and asking a whole lot of questions... we talk about STD and their symptoms and then he ask me how many people I've been with in the last year and I'm like 5.... well shyt, at least I thought it was five until he asked me to write down their contact info so they could contact them to get tested... so I opened my cell phone and began writing... the list amounted to 9 negreos.... yeah I know I thought I said 5. and the funny thing is the counselor said these are all men where are the women.. on your form you indicated you sleep with both men and woman.. and I was like well haven't slept with a woman in over a year (might be time to re-validate that bisexual card)- at any rate, i just refuse to sleep with a woman without being honest.. so...

At any rate, the counselor finally ask me to look at my test results and he says you see the one line, that means your Hiv-, to which I let out a HEAVY sigh and thank the universe that I'm not Hiv+.. and this is my first Hiv test in 5 years... so I was a little worried especially after the whole Leacj fiasco... so anyway... I'm instructed to seat back in the waiting area until the Doctor is ready to see me...

Finally 15 minutes later the Doctor comes out, she greets me... leads me to a room where I'm re-informed on why am "here" and another series of questions.. "do you know why your here?" "How are you feeling", "when was your last hiv test?" etc etc etc... so she instruct me to take off my pants because I'm getting TWO shots in the ass even though my blood test came back negative for sphylis... I'm pissed but hey could be worse... so than she inpects me like I'm a slave up for auction just with a whole lot more respect... She instructs me to come back in 3 months for another test and tells me to take care of myself...

Well how do I feel, on one hand very relieved!!!!!! And I guess this is my second chance to make it better and to do the right thing..... I think I'm ok.. I hope I'm ok and I pray that I have the decency to protect myself and the future and hopefully one day I can meet someone to be with who will love me for me and be faithful... so I guess I have another chance and yes I'm OK..... thank goodness..........