NYE 2004/2005

Last night I did something that I hadn't done in my entire adult life- I spent NYE alone. I decided earlier in the day, that I didn't want to bring a new year in with strangers and since my close freinds all had plans, which didn't include me, I decided that I would take time for myself and the best place for me to bring in the NY would be in the comfort of my own home. So, I came home from work, checked the good ole e-mail, surfed the net for a minute, while listening to some South African Jazz. I then decided to take a good ole bath (hadn't taken a bath in I don't know when, I'm more of a shower brotha). Got out the tub, dried off real good and listened to some love songs on yahoo messanger and laid in my bed. The suprising thing was I didn't feel as lonely as I thought I would- I was actually ok with being by myself for those few minutes/hours. I was enjoying myself so much that I dosed off, until I was awaken by some idiota shooting bullets in the air to celebrate the NY. At first I was frightened- well shyt, I should be after getting shot 2 years ago, but once I calmed myself done, I realized that there was nothing but silence in my apartment. I immediately went over to my computer to turn the music back on, but for whatever reason yahoo messanger wouldn't connect right. So, after a few attempts I said fuck it and laid back down. As my eyes took turns watching the flames from the candles I had lit and the clock, I begin to hold myself in the darkness and appreciate the silence. A freind once told me, that if I could be still in silence, I would hear my soul speak. Last night, that's exactly what happened. My soul told me that it was good that I took the time to take care of me and that it was time to go out and get my tequila on- So, that's exactly what I did.