Part 1- My past

After my last entry, I got to thinking.... thinking about this whole "gay" thing. Lke when did it start, when did i know, if i could would i change it, am i happy, what does it mean to be "gay", can I and will I every have a good relationship with another man, a hoist of questions filled my head.. and it isn't as if the questions were new and improved these questions are age old questions.. they are the constant question and answer session that revolves around this one brothas expereince in and out of the life....

so.....this is part one of My past, My Present, My future... a Series of entries...
So, when did I first start liking other guys?

Well for as long as I can remember I've been "gay".. I honestly think I was borne this way.. I can remember being very young and seeing a lil girl and wanting to pull her dress up and then see a little boy and wanting to pinch his butt. I remember that when I was very young i got caught kissing another little boy. Why or how i did it, I don't know.. must have felt like the right thing to do at the time. Well shortly, after this incident, I learned that it wasn't something that I should have done nor was it an acceptable thing. Believe you me, I got whopped that day... and just barely escaped the "faggot" and "sissy" calling.

As I aged, I remember being about nine years old and I had a friend lets say he's name was Ike. (Ike and I were friends until about eight years ago- a combination of me growing into who I am and him being who he is/was.. and the fact that ever since I was nine years old, I was in love with this man/boy. And as we got older, he was fully aware that I was in love with him. I wouldn't say that he was "gay" but he did have extremely complicated feelings or an emotional attachment for or to me.) So, at any rate, I wouldoften avoid going home and stay over Ike's house. Ike and I were often inseperable until someone more polular, more attractive, more
hip, more whatever.. especially the females.. when ever they came around I was dog's liver...
um, that's until Ike needed someone to really talk to and then he would come to me, Emotionalbrotha. The memories of our bonding still at this moment bring tears to my eyes because I witness the strength and desire for me to be me, and I gave up so much to be who I am, and I love me.. more than I love anyone else, even Ike.. and he was my first love. He was
my idol, my friend, in my young head he was my boyfriend.

In all actuality he was everything I wanted to be:

popular, good looking, confindent, athletic, smart, funny, courageous, wanted, loved, valued, special, different, straight

I gave up a part of myself to be his friend, because he needed to shine and I a young dirty black "gay" boy.. I was content with allowing him to shine as long as he was my friend. In alot of ways I hated that I did it..... but it was what it was... today, I am and I am becoming who I'm meant to be and yes Ike played some part in that. In retrospect, he taught me about straight men, about how they will abuse you and use you if you let them... and they don't care how much you like them or love them- It's all about them.. and Emotionalboy decided that he didn't deserve nor would he tolerate abuse.. so he committed suicide and he he reinvented himself as a smart, razor edged young man who would take on the world... especially after Ike's older brother began to molest me when I stayed the night and of course as we got older, the truth came out and Ike felt betrayed that I allowed his brother to do things to me. Let me be clear when I say noone asks to be molested!! NO ONE!

Angry Brotha

Man, I normally hate putting people on blast but there is one blogger who is working my fucking last nerve.. he is The Captain..now the Captain is supposedly against same sex marriage and from his comments I take it not very fond of "gay" folks yet and still he reads my damn blog and makes the most outrageous comments..

I look at it like this, if you doing something and I don't liek it I'm going to stay on my side of the bloggsphere and let you do your shyt somewhere else not constantly leave u comments about how ur opinion sucks...

opinions are like assholes everyone has one and everyone is entitled to one..

but yo Captain... in regards to some of your comments..

Excerpt from Captain's blog today:
"why is gay men so perverted? We all know that gay men are the most sexual beings without any control over sexual desires and promiscuity. In addition, gay men have the lowest relationship vitality rate than any other couple combination. However, gay men aggressively seem to make everything sexual, and involving sex into everything they think, feel or discuss.Why must gay men be so sex-driven in all they do?"

Actually, gay people are no more sexual than heterosexuals.. loook at Mardi Gras... when all the hoes and non hoes are showing their titties and getting gang banged why are you smiling?? but when "gay" folks want to display or assert their sexuality it's a problem....

Yo, in regards to lack of relationships... theres a whole bunch of mofos scared to come out the closet because of comments and minds like yours... but i know some folks in relationships.. i know some not in relationships.. compatibliity is a muthafuckka.. but lets take all the financial , moral, emotional, spiritual, and communial support from heterosexual relationships and see how ling they last? Why don't most "gay" relationships last... well finances, in/out status, sexual preference, masculine vs, feminine, compatibility, no familiar support, most of us our still in the closet, or too far out of the closet... shyt can some of us just grad out clothes and get dressed in front of the mirror...

but check this out, when same sex indivuals can walk down the street holding hands then you will see an increase in same sex relationships... i'm sure their out there obviously u just cant see them... perhaps their afraid of your fiery tongue.. i for one, am not... However, to my other brothas and sistas I know that Being "gay" ain't easy... and dammit I ain't smiling when I say that shyt either.. sometimes I want to cry a thousand tears because people are so hateful, but I choose to just live life..

and honestly, when you look at it, we just need to get over other peoples issues and live our damn lives because most "gay" folks I know don't really have a problem with being "gay" they have a problem with other people's reactions to them being "gay".. and Captain your attitude
is fucked up!!!

but yo, got a question for you If "gay" people bother you so much, why be bothered with us?????

Also, question for the other bloggies, if your "gay, what would you do if you were hetero.. and if your hetero what would you do if you were "gay".....??????

Would you tell or would u be in the closet... and hwo do u think u family would react? How much support do u think u'd get?

Damn another study...

Men with older brothers more likely to be gay By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID, Associated Press Writer
1 hour, 30 minutes ago


WASHINGTON - Having several older brothers increases the likelihood of a man being gay, a finding researchers say adds weight to the idea that there is a biological basis for sexual orientation.

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"It's likely to be a prenatal effect," said Anthony F. Bogaert of Brock University in St. Catharines, Canada, "This and other studies suggest that there is probably a biological basis for" homosexuality.

S. Marc Breedlove of Michigan State University said the finding "absolutely" confirms a physical basis.

"Anybody's first guess would have been that the older brothers were having an effect socially, but this data doesn't support that," Breedlove said in a telephone interview.

The only link between the brothers is the mother and so the effect has to be through the mother, especially since stepbrothers didn't have the effect, said Breedlove, who was not part of the research.

Bogaert studied four groups of Canadian men, a total of 944 people, analyzing the number of brothers and sisters each had, whether or not they lived with those siblings and whether the siblings were related by blood or adopted.

He reports in a paper appearing in Tuesday's issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that having several biological older brothers increased the chance of a man being gay.

It's an effect that can be detected with one older brother and becomes stronger with three or four or more, Bogaert said in a telephone interview.

But, he added, this needs to be looked at in context of the overall rate of homosexuality in men, which he suggested is about 3 percent. With several older brothers the rate may increase from 3 percent to 5 percent, he said, but that still means 95 percent of men with several older brothers are heterosexual.

The effect of birth order on male homosexuality has been reported previously but Bogaert's work is the first designed to rule out social or environmental effects.

Bogaert said he concluded the effect was biological by comparing men with biological brothers to those with brothers to whom they were not biologically related.

The increase in the likelihood of being gay was seen only in those whose brothers had the same mothers, whether they were raised together or not, he said.

Men raised with several older step- or adopted brothers do not have an increased chance of being gay.

"So what that means is that the environment a person is raised in really makes not much difference," he said.

What makes a difference, he said, is having older brothers who shared the same womb and gestational experience, suggesting the difference is because of "some sort of prenatal factor."

One possibility, he suggests, is a maternal immune response to succeeding male fetuses. The mother may react to a male fetus as foreign but not to a female fetus because the mother is also female.

It might be like the maternal immune response that can occur when a mother has Rh-negative blood but her fetus has Rh-positive blood. Without treatment, the mother can develop antibodies that may attack the fetus during future pregnancies.

Whether that's what is happening remains to be seen, but it is a provocative hypothesis, said a commentary by Breedlove, David A. Puts and Cynthia L. Jordan, all of Michigan State.

The research was funded by the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada.

___

On the Net:

PNAS: http://www.pnas.org

Sleep Walking??

So, yesterday evening I ran into Cutebutstr8, (see post Dreams or Nightmares and why am I having them...) and we talked for a LONG ass minute. After the conversation, I realized that I'm kinda attracted to dude but than I'm kinda not! Sometimes, I look at him and I'm like damn he a cutie but then other days and times like last night, I was like he's kewl to talk to but ain't shyt going on... Anyway, talked to dude for a long time and I had my dog with me, so we let the dogs play together while we talked had to be like close to an hour.... and were supposed to hang out at some club soon.. he knows someone who works there who can hook us up on drinks too... so.... but I'm confused cause I kinda think I should tell dude that I'm gay to avoid any confusion but then I look at it like ain't none of his business and I really aint trying to holla at him anyway.. or am I? And I just dont know it.... How do you holla at someone u aint really attracted to? And I think or I've told myself to just back up off the brotha... be respectful and shyt.. and thats alll... but ain't nuttin wrong with hanging out with dude right?

I love this man

I swear I LOVE this man. Today, I checked my mail and there was a letter from the office of Senator Barack Obama. I recently sent his office an e-mail thanking Senator Obama in regards to his position on the Federal Marriage Admendment. In addition, I also signed and had the HRC (Human Rights Campaign for those living under a rock) deliver my letter regarding this issue to the Senator's office. (Got to make my $100.00 annual donation work. If you guys don't currently give to a g life org, start today- I give to three to four a year- only a hundred bucks a peice but hey I give what I can. So at any rate, I got a lettr from the Senator this morning and it was just thanking me for my recent communication regarding the issue and the fact that he feels as if the Constitution should not be changed without careful and thorough public discussion and the fact that he does not support the FMA.

I thought the letter was very nice and also Barack is a man to watch out for.. Hillary Clinton might be spotting him for Vice President in '08.

Barack is just the shyt!!!!!! Got to love him.....

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Yesterday morning, I awoke in the embrace of Jamacain... As planned this morning I woke on top of Youngin... Tomorrow it will be whom???

Damn, I'm torn.. it was kewl chillen with Youngin yesterday and man we still ain't had sex cause we both being stubborn and I'm sorry but I can't give up the booty like that.. she already had a lil bit from Jamacian what a week and a half go, and I just ain't loose like that... so anyway.. Man, I woke up feeling good.. dude feels good.. he slept like a baby and I awoke to see him with his eyes shut and his mouth wide open snoring.. was cute.. I was like wow... but I felt guilty.. cause I hadn't talked to Jamacain and that was the first time we ain't talked before I went to bed... and he called me after like 1am and I didn't pick up cause I was knocked out so I know he going to tell me about myself. But, shyt, I didn't even check my voicemail yet.. but damn what am I to do? On one hand, I feel like Jamacain is more for me, he's professional, family oriented, relationship oriented, smart, funny, kind, sexy and shyt he feels good and makes me feel good... Youngin is cute as fuck, not particularily on my level but he has potential..

This morning as I was driving him home, I thought to myself as I was looking into his eyes... damn you are sooo YOUNG!!! LOL>>>> In alot of ways he reminds me of me... he claims he don't give no booty up, he's masculine, not too into the whole "gay" thing... but he's not as Progressive as I was at 21... He doesn't even have a degree yet...

Damn, what am I to do? I really want to get to know both of them to see in the long run who will compliment me----and yo why do i feel scared???

Dreams or Nightmares and why am I having them...

Last night or rather earlier this morning, I awoke from a dream or nightmare- I remembered this disillusion which was weird, the other weird thing was that I was content sleeping in Jamacain's arms until I realized that I was dreaming about someone else... this person I was dreaming about is a str8 guy who I guess you can say I've flirted with from time to time, but nothing serious or offensive, just a quick smile or an over extended conversation here and there. We both own the same kind of dogs, and were both young black urban professionals- but why would I be having a dream about this guy?

And in the dream- which was bizarre in itself... I was sitting on his bed and he was partially clothed.. he was covered by a blanket and I could see his chest hair and the bottom of his legs but everything else was covered by this blanket... also, the conversation wasn't sexual at all- It was like I was in dudes apartmentnot sure if I knocked on the door or whatever, but all I remember is that dude was laying in the bed and there were like female condoms and regular condoms out-- they were used and i was like damn dude did u get ur fuck on or what-- and he was like yeah i come alot... and then for whatever reason... it was like he was closer to me... like say in the beginning of the dream he was a distance away-- imagine sitting on someones king size bed and there are stretched out but like on their side of the bed and like a minute later they are on your side of the bed and almost right dead in ur face.. like almost in a kissable distance... and this is like a regular freindly conversation...

so dude is like that close to me and i guess i felt like we would kiss or that i could have kissed him.. but then i woke up!!!!! I opened my eyes and I was in the arms of Jamacain and comfortable at that until the dream came back to me like hot lava out of a volcano- I wanted to move, to scream, to write, but Jamacain looked to comfortable I didn't want to wake him, so I ponder the dream for a minute than looked at this man in front of me, took him in my arms even tighter and drifted back to sleep...

But yo, if anyone is a dream interpreter, please let me know what this dream might have meant.. cause i don't even like str8 guys like that- (and yeah I know i was flirting with dude in the past, but i have boundaries and always make sure i'm being respectful i mean most of the time, they don't even know I'm flirting with them...)

Torn

Yo, so two of the three have really set themselves apart in my rainstorm- Jamacain is really putting the smack down and last night he stayed over again and were supposed to see each other tonight. Man when I sleep with this cat, I don't want to get up. I want to lay within his arms.. and he wants to lay in mine.. This morning I got up to get in the shower.. I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth and he comes in and just kisses me, I got a mouthfull of tooth paste and he's just kissing me.. I'm like damn that's hot!!! Then he brushes his teeth and ask me if he can take a shower with me.. I'm like of course.. and we get in the shower and he starts washing me up between kisses... I mean dude is so affectionate although I think he might be a little crazy!!! LOL... Last night, dude called hisself playing wit me but we were wrestling and dude grabbed me around my neck and I was like hold up......but he was like sorry dude and whats not.. than this morning he tried to give me a HICKY!! and I'm like yo not on my neck cause that's unprofessional! And he's like how bout here or here or here.. between kisses.. and I told him no HICKIES at all! He was like oh I can't mark my territory but you can kiss me in the club marking yours and I was like oh shyt, dude done peeped my card... But I was like yo, you can give me one but no where were it can be seen.. he's like oh so other dudes aint going to get mad if I put a hicky on you.. I'm like I'm single..I don't answer to nobody.. so don't worry bout that.... we stood there staring at each other for a minute and then it happened again.. it being that feeling that we can't keep our hands/ mouths off each other... dude started kissing me again and rubbing on my body and he said he loves my body the way it feels... the way i am... he likes me.... so Jamacain is definetely still in the running....

BUT

Younging at giving up to easy. This morning he returned my phone call from yesterday and he wants to see me today but I already have plans with Jamacain so I made plans to hang out with him tomorrow after I hit the gym and of course work like a Hebrew slave.... But, Younging and I had a brief but good convo- he talked about how he hated missing my call yesterday and that he really wants to see me... he also talked to Musclebod and dude is sweating him, he feels bad cause now he likes me and I was like dude we are all grown..I had to return to work but told dude I would call him when I go to lunch of after 5.... I can hear it in his voice he wants me.......LOL.. and it's nice to be wanted..

ALSO

Last night Jamacain asked me what are we....???

And I was like were dating.. getting to know one another.... you know...

.....aint that something...???

When it Rains..........

When it Rains it pours.. and this weekend it was raining men in and out of my life, like I don't know what. In the matter of days, I've gone from a lonely emotionalfull brotha to an occupied emoitionfull, sensual, kissing, hugging, brotha....

It all began last weekend when I was invited to a card party by AlphaTeddybear...Alpha decided to through this party for the hell of it and well I was priveleged enough to warrant an invitation- so there I was in a room full of men, some cute, some not so cute, but all full of personality and vigor.. so as the card games went on at some point the Board games began and I'm a big traditional type of monopoly, scrabble, clue, scattegories, type of guy.. so a group of us started playing a game of I guess it was scattergories.-- (its the game where you roll the dice and everyone has a card and you have to fill out categories withour repeating other answers) so there we are like 4 cuties out of the 6 of us and one cute was off limits so while I still flirted with him there was no way I was touching that with a 10 FT pole... so anyway, this other player SweetandNiceAssArms kept repeating my answers--- I mean he wasn't trying to but some how he was all up in my head... so I was flirting with him and shyt... but then again I flirt with everyone.. So, at any rate, I didn't know if dude was there with someone so I played it kewl.. only to receive a phone call later from Alpha asking if I found anyone interesting.. well I spoke up dude and actually dude also thought that i was "interesting" so eventually i told Alpha to give Sweet my #. and we talked for like 3-4 hours the first day that was followed by him coming over and chilling out... we hugged.. kissed.. laid up, took naps.. it was nice.. i slept really good with dude... was real comfortable.. he even gave me some booty... and it was good....i fucked the shyt out of him and then we went back to sleep.. and i slept good.. thought.. ok....damn dude might be kewl for a minute... i'm comfortable wit him, he's cuddling skills are up.. aigght, that's whats up--- that's until... I slept with..... Jamacian.....

Jamacian. and I met a few weeks ago, originally I didn't remember him, when he called me I was like what you look like and where did we meet and to say the least I need to leave the liquor alone... But at any rate, so one day last week, we were going to the same place and I told him to come over and introduce himself once he got there.. so here comes this cute ass brotha with this big ass Colgate smile and he's like I'm Jamacian..... and I'm like nah yo u a cutie... and that was that.. wanted to kiss him right there but i held back.. so he calls me the next day and we meet for something to eat and we talk and this brotha has a head like a muthafuckka on his shoulders and his famiyl knows about him and he's kewl with the famiyl and he's been n a relationship and he looks me strai8 in the eyes when he's talking and we took a walk after dinner and i just kissed this man on Michigan Ave and although it made him nervous i didn't care... so...... damn his kisses feel good... and i'm running into him and a few days later it happened... what happened.. it happened....IT

was surprising and shocking because we spent most of the time kissing and this brotha was rubbing on me so delicately and so carefull and my body felt like it was on fire, I talking spasmism and jolts of enery that only Aphrodite or Venus herself could have surged down into my limbs because all I remember is that I was shaking like a leaf and this brotha was just continously kissing me like he found his treasure of gold and my body jolted with electric, the kisses became more passionate and suddenly I heard myself saying put it in me... and I blushed cause i was like what the fuck am i talking about.. and he was like are u sure thats what u want.. with a faint smile my mind began to wig out but my body my body, wanted this man, wanted this grip and so we got the rubber and he put it in me.. as soon as it slide in a came-- ohh damn baby.. damn.. and i laid there on top of him and we drifted off to sleep... hours later i awoke still in his embrace with a big ass smile on my face.. like damn am I dreaming??? it was unbelievable and me giving up booty and we ain't in no relationship- don't even want to wig out regarding that and dude stayed over again last night and we ain't had sex since what was that Thursday... i think also dealing with all the stress of my job, i just needed some real quick... and it was good, even if i could only last a few moments... as i shook with excasty dude looked at me-- threw me really.. kissed me again, and cradled me to sleep..the shyt was HOTTTTTT!!! and we spent last night together again and the brotha even helped me wash clothes.....

But I felt bad cause all day yesterday I was laying up with YounginfromFLA. Young and I met a few weeks back from a buddy I've mine, the intitial was shyt chemistry that ole masculine ass you across the room and just feel a muthafuckka looking at you type of shyt... but he was with my boy Musclebod.. so I had to be respectful and see what was the business between them before i could make my move.. so i lured in the bushes looking through the leaves and enjoying the occasional glimpses when i would allow our eyes to met and it was like fire.. with each look we wanted each other more and more.. but i kept back... i would have to retreat way across the rooom when he's look began to become desire... he would look and smile and i would look and blush, bite my lip, and then smile back, it was a game.. who would and how would this be conquered... well i did the due diligence, stepped to my boy, inquired:

"Yo whats up wit u and dude?"
"Nuttin man we just chillen?"
"So, yall fucking?"
"Nah man ..."

20,000 more questions insue... ok, I had the info or the clearance to see what was this going to be... who would be conquered.. who would give into this Magnetism first.. so .. a few more days.. a few more smiles.. a few more... hugs.. and pounds... and shyt this brotha made me blush yet again... and Saturday night it all came to a head.. but not before asking my boy again.. "what's up wit yall?" Yet, again no answers So, I made my move and I could tell dude was on it.. like what took you so long.. it was HOT!!!! We finally were in each others arms and Youngin just started kissing me and I was like what the fuck.. so you know me I started kissing him back... and the next thing I knew we were buck ass naked just kissing.. and this brotha was you could tell he was a playa... body, dick, ass, face... charm.. good kisser.. so we started off on the "stupid convo" between kisses... you suck dick, you do this, yo do that.. and i was like dude nah.. i ain't loose like that... if u trying to be wit me than we can talk but right now aint the time... so we just kept kissing like we were crazy and we woke up, started talking, and started kissing again.. the next thing i knew we were cumming all over each other, we jumped in the shower, went back to bed.. kissing some more... than more sleep.. i'm just holding dude... he's letting me hold him, i'm like damn... this feels gooooooddddd.....we finally get up so i can take him home, and before i'm like yo lets get something to eat cause i don't wanna let him go yet.... so we get some Burger King and we're talking more and more and more... I drop him off.. but not before he sneaks in a two final kisses.. one on my neck as I'm driving down the street and the other one smack dab on my lips before he gets out the car.. and then i sneak in one smack dab on his lips while he's standing on the side of my car.. i then departed with a smile big ass day on my face...

and then i'm back home..

back to returning the 11 missed calls on my phone and guess what both MuscleBod (seems as if they were or had fucked after all and now my boy aint too happy wit me..shyt, I asked.. I inquired.....), Jamacian and Sweet called.. and I'm like what's a brotha to do.. so I return all 11 missed calls...

ended up spending the night with Jamacian and man it felt good.. we just slept in each others arms. and he washed me up in the shower.. he holds me tight.. then i hold him tight.. and i sleep on his chest and than him on mine.. and his kisses.. last night he helped me wash clothes and i was like yo back off of me or I'm going to kiss u...:-) thats crazy.... i guess in a way they all started with a kiss.. the question is what will they end with or who will i end up having something with

.. one week, three guys, many many many kisses...... who kisses me the best, who makes me feel special.. who will it be... what will become of me..... this is rain, rain drops, thunderstorms, thunder, and clouds making the sun shine again... and shyt maybe hopefully even a nice rainbow and hopefully i will be looking at it in the arms of someone else.. but whom?

Quik sex questionaire

1. Ever been to a male strip club? No- but do gay clubs count?

2. Ever been to a female strip club? No

3. Ever been to a bar? YES

4. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? YES

5. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere? YES

6. Ever been so drunk you blacked out? YES

7. Kissed someone of the same sex (no relatives)? Yes

8. Thrown up from drinking too much? YES

9. Had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period? Yes

10.Had sex in a car? YES

11. Had sex in a park? Yes

12. Had sex in a movie theater? No

13. Had sex in a bathroom? No

14. Had sex in a school? No

15. Have you ever been in an "adult" store? Yes

16. Have you ever purchased items from adult store? Yes

17. Have you spent over $100.00 in one visit to the adult store? No

18. Is there someone you wish you never had sex with? Yes

19. Is there someone on your blog roll that you wished you would have had sex with? Yes

20. Would you sleep with the person you got this from? Don't know.. maybe...

21. Ever given oral sex or received? Yes

22. Have you ever had a threesome? Yes

23. (GIRLS) Are your breasts real? Ain't got none..

24. (GUYS)Have you ever used viagra ? Nah, I ain't got no problem in that department

25. Would you rather give or receive oral sex? Receive

26. Have you ever kissed a stranger? Yes- blame it on the alcohol

27. Have you ever had a one night stand? Yes unfortunately

28. Were you honest? Yes

29. Who do you think will fill out this survery? Freaks...lol..

Let's get Married

As most of us know, i mean unless your living under a rock, the Senate is debating the FMA this week, so if you haven't already, please call your Senator's office and tell them how you feel.. Now, me how do I feel... I feel like since I was a little kidd, I always imagined myself getting married, having kids, a dog, the white house and picket fence.. when I was 19 years old I realized this would never happen- well not with a woman anyway.. However, I do see it happening with a man.. and I feel like love is love is love.. and if we would all focus on that the world would be a better place. At the same time, I feel like the debate at hand is one of the main reasons I feel like people need to come out to their families and freinds so people can stop harrassing and discrimanting against us and we stop them from doing this, by educating them and ceasing the fear that comes with being "different". Recently, I attended a dinner party and one of the guest said if everyone came out to 5 people, there would be noone who didn't know a gay person or someone who knew one, because their not talking about gay people their talkign about me... their talking about the men i love.. about the men i will learn to love about the men who deserve to be loved.. and because of this i say love... in addition, there is a division between church and state so no religous propaganda is needed... people kill me when they want to use the bible to make their points or discrimimate agaisnt people.. least we not forget they used the bible to enslave black folks and taught us that we were 1/3 whole until they decided it was no longer economical good and if we accepted and praised their jesus everything would be fine and we would be saved.. thats so ludacris to me, but people believe what they want to believe..

I say give me a brotha or can love me, let us rent two white tux's and call it a day.... I mean why should certain people, in this case straight people have access to certain priveleges and rights because their straight..???? I'm not talking about religous acceptance- i could care less.. I'm talking tax cuts, Social Security, having kids, legal protection, medical protection and coverage, foreign/immigration protection.. wtf.... the constition says that every man is created equal.. and if thats the case I say fuck marriage all together and everyone should just be allowed to have civil unions,... you want to make me a second class citizen i say kiss my ass and go to hell.. i for one will not take this laying down--nah, we will not take this laying down..so all my brothas and sistas go home and tell your Mama whats up cause if u bump into one day and we fall in love, we going to be in front of the Supreme Court cause i aint going out like a chump.. i want the same rights, freedoms, and opportunites that every other man has.... the point is we all the same and this heterosexual privelege shyt is getting on my last nerve...

so here's some links.. to check updates and i'll finish this blog or continue it later

http://news.yahoo.com/fc/World/Gays_and_Lesbians
http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0606/p01s01-uspo.html
http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0403/p02s01-ussc.html?s=widep
http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/editorials/articles/2006/06/06/gay_marriage_so_what/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_timeline


This link tripped me out.. how South Africa ahead of us??? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_in_South_Africa
Got damn, let me get back on the boat and go bak home then..

And how about my 14th muthafuckin Admendenment??? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourteenth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

And my muthafuckin right to Citizenship???
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citizenship


This link talks about marriage being one of the basic rights to man...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loving_v._Virginia

The Supreme Court overturned the convictions in a unanimous decision, dismissing the Commonwealth of Virginia's argument that a law forbidding both white and black persons from marrying persons of another race, and providing identical penalties to white and black violators, could not be construed as racially discriminatory. In its decision, the court wrote
Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival.... To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discriminations. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.

Despite this ruling, such laws rested unenforced in several states until 2000 when Alabama became the last state to remove its law against mixed-race marriage. Slow as Bama...