Sunday, September 18, 2005

Forgotten Stranger

For the past week, I've been wondering about a certain indivual that I used to have sex with, (I would say date, but we mainly fucked, would hug here and there, but the person had a girlfriend at the time), when I was in undergrad in Bmore, MD. It all started last week sometime, when I awoke from a deep sleep during a thunder storn- his face was in my face, his body pressed next to mine, I could see every part of him- but I couldn't remember his god damn name to save my life- I begin to sense the taste of his kiss, the feel of his arms, legs, butt, face, hair, smell him from near to far, as if he was laying in the bed next to me- however, there was nothing there but the pilllows- my mind begin to drown with thoughts of this tall, young, sweet "boy", (how course I'm sure and hope he's a grown man by now)

I found myself usurped with thoughts and dormant feelings for this ForgottenStranger- as if in some way, i loved this man- not like being in love with him- but some type of deep affection- I mean after all my mind was in a whirlwind of thoughts- imganiing what he might look like now, where he's at, what is he doing, has he "accepted" or come to terms with his sexuality, and basically was he "ok" and alive-

I pondered possible searching for him, but I wouldn't know the first place to go or even if I located him, what would I say- Wouldn't I look like a big ass psycho having after 5 years of not communicating with this guy- locating him and declaring I just needed to know that you were "ok"- that seems a lil overdramatic, but so is life, and so are alot of the thoughts in my screwed up head-

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