Tuesday, September 11, 2007


i hate myself for everything i am and everything i am not
why don't i feel good enough
why do i tell myself over and over that know one is going to love me and than end up aliented and angry with myself
why do these negative thoughts conitously run through my head
why cant the voices find comfort in my accomplishments
why cant i sleep thru the night
why, why, why, lord why
why can't i surrender even when i try
when am i so full of anger n fear
why do i do so well and yet and still cant find love
why am i suffering from depression
why, why, why... i keep asking myself why
why didn't my mother protect, my did my father leave me
why does everyone who loves me leave
why is it that i feel aliented and different and above but below people
why do i suffer from guilt
why am i so emotional
why do i sometimes wish i was dead
why do i continue living
why do the thoughts ramble through my head
why do i jerk off to go to sleep
why do i need a hug n kiss n the words i love u to feel, i don't know human
why does everyone else seem so happy but i feel so down and depressed
why is this contiunually coming...
why cant i rest
why cant i relax
why did i stop believing in god
did god abadon me
does god care for me
is god angry with me
is god dead
can god hear this prayer
can god answer my question
help me to surrender
i neeed to surrender
i'm willing to surrender- why cant i surrender
why am i a control freak
why do i love so hard
why do i try to control people
why dont i understand that i cant make someone love me
why do i fall for the wrong guys
why are so many guys infected with hiv
why cant i just be straight
why do i have to live in fear that i will fall in love with someone hiv+
why do i FEAR loving at all
why, why, why

1 comment:

WhozHe said...

Sometimes I've found it helpful to simply give up the "why", cease struggling, and just live life as is.