Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold....
Last night as I was washing clothes, a man came to speak with me.. the more he spoke the more interesting the conversation got- we talked about being black man in a world that doesn't teach us to respect and value ourselves, we talked about young black america, we talked about growing up poor, we talked about south jersey, we talked and talked and talked and than the conversation took a serious bad turn- this man started to talk about religion to me and at the end of the conversation he had the audacity to ask me to accept jesus christ as my personal lord and savior... this i aim unable to do- unwilling to do.. and it made me think-- whats really going on... why don't i believe... why do i refuse to believe.... why don't have have faith... it made me think--- and i thought about it for a hard long time.... the words of this brotha repeated themselves in my head.... talk to god... seek him out.. be str8 with him... let him know that ur confusioned and u have questions.... job had questions... noah had questions..... and yes, emotionalbrotha does have questions... questions filled with rage and hate and hurt and mistreat and no love given by anyone's god.... god turned "his" back on me a long time ago.. and even when i tried to believe i really didn't believe-- i don't think i've every believed-- i used to act like i did for other people... for everyone else but deep down in side... i wish i could but i can't... i refuse to because none of it makes any sense....
God is old and senile...
Or maybe Beneatha said it best....
"Mama, you don't understand. It's all a matter of ideas, and God is just one idea I don't accept. It's not important. I am not going out and be immoral or commit crimes because I don't believe in God. I don't even think about it. It's just that I get tired of Him getting credit for all the things the human race achieves through its own stubborn effort. There simply is no blasted God-there is man and it is he who makes miracles!"
Right know I really don't know.... what to believe.....
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2 comments:
OH MY FREAKING GOD...this is my all time favorite quote.
Then Mama says; "alright that's enough"
Bennie goes and says something about not going out and being immorral and mama comes back and slaps the hell outta her and says, "Now you repeat after me...in my mother's house, there is still God."
Hmmm - I love it, love it, love it. I could probably quote the play from start to finish.
i love the quote, what movie is it from? and you're definitely not alone on the skeptical tip.
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