Strength

I've always been strong and that with each day I only become stronger- the beauty is that I am finally realizing that I am becoming the man I'm meant to be. - with each breathe, every step that i walk, every second that i'm able to close my eyes and sleep, peaceful sleep even without a permanent job, and my own place, and all the beautiful things that i once had- i still have myself- and great friends & family- and my life may not always go the way that i want it to- i may be humbled/many times over/ until i truly learn the lesson that it to be learned/ my smile can never be taken away/ my strength lies within/ no longer closing off the world/ but realizing that i show my heart to those that i used to/ the closeness that comes within the death of an era/ the reincarnation of the new journey begins/ with the newness of the birth of flowers in springtime and as wet as the snow in winter & soon the universe will bring out the sun to dry all my tears & bless me with the release of seeing a new garden, a new field, a new forest with new trees/ from old seeds, and all this beauty would have come from me

Reality

For the last past days, I've been realizing something about my self and the world in which I live in- It seems as if just five shorts weeks ago I was in Chicago doing the damn thing and not five weeks later, here I am in Washington, Dc- I'm so damn happy to be back on the East Coast and although things haven't necessarily gone the way I thought they would- I'm ok.. and I'm very thankful for just being able to breathe oxygen into my lungs and the fact that my brain works, and I have legs to walk on.-- There's so much that I'm greatful for- sometimes it's just the fact that I can smile- that I can look at life and know that this too shall pass and that I still have it and within me I have everything that I will ever need....

It's like in the musical the Color Purple (and although i haven't seen it yet- I've been singing the lyrics to I'm Here).....

I don't need you to love me...... I don't need you to lovvveee.....

I got...... I goootttt.....

good friends,
great family members,
my health,
my strength,
a good sound mind,
a good body,
a good heart,
empathy for those who hate their lives,

i just love me right now... even if I am techinically void of a permanent job---- i got what

I've always had-- myself...

"I got my hands-- doing good like the used to"

"showing my heart to the folks I'm close to"

"Got my eyes- though the don't see that far now--- they see how things really r now"

thank u to my good friends for supporting n loving me--

"but most of all I'm thankful loving who I really am"

It's really depresing when you see people who don't see the joy in their lives, the don't see the good in themselves, in you, in others, they set on the subway and stare into space-- that must be a sad exitence......i'm just glad that i am and can be me.... there's nothing more important to Emotional than being exactly who he is and all his complexity.....

Everything must Change

Today I am reminded of two old sayings:

1) Everything must change and ......

2) This too shall pass.....

Today, i got a voicemail from this company that I've interviewed with 2x already and they were supposed to call me last week to set-up an 3rd interview- least to say they didn't call me and I accepted a temporary assignment because my bank account was under $10.00 or the past two weeks and it didn't help that RealPlayer or whatever debitted some money out of my account, forcing me to transfer 5 of the $6.32 I had in my savings account to prevent an overdraft- oh, and did I mention that my bank doesn't have a branch here or no where near here and they've asking me to consider mail banking-- like my little checks from the temporary service need to be held any longer than need be-. But, at any rate, today I cashed a check at the check cashing places and received two 20's , a 10, and 2 crispy one dollar bills- I put $20 in my gas tank, $20 on my Metro card and spent $11 on turkey bologna, hot dogs, bread, .99 cent macaroni salad, two bags of .99 chips and a tube of of tooth paste- got to hang on to next week, when I will get a 5 hour pay check from the other temporary service- but at least I'm working 37.5 hours this week and it should come in handy because my storage is due and I need to pay my car insurance and let's not even talk about my car payment, which is due in 2 weeks--

I actaully should be ok.. because according to my voicemail the company wants to meet with me again and they are prepared with an offering--- so hallejuh baby-- the light is coming out and it's only been a little over three weeks--- faith in noone but myself sometimes works.... well normally alway works--- well more times than not....

but hey, everything is going to be allright....

Vagina Power

Alexyss K. Tylor is a damn fool, but this is the truth--

what yall think?

Part 3- Penis/Vagina Power

Crazy as hell but the truth-

Penis Power Part 2

If this sista ain't telling the truth---

Please check it out and comment-

Penis Power

What yall think about penis power? And can we get a video on p$ssy power?

Love to me

Video from Light in the Piazza-

wanted to have a cultural Wednesday

Feeling a Lil Pity

Today, I have to admit that I am overwhelmed- I have been unemployed for almost three weeks now and my bank account is low, my sense of self worth is beginning to decrease although I've been interviewing and everyone thinks that I'm great- my references have checked out- my interviews have gone well- and still i have no offers-- i'm feeling a little pitiful-- but i know deep down inside everything will be alright--

I know that deep down inside everything will be ok.

growth

Yesterday I wanted to cry- the reality that I gave up "everything" to have "nothing" really set in hard- i've gone from 50K to 0, from nice crib to homeless - sleeping on my buddies couch, from benefits to no benefits, from relationships and something to do to well starting new relationships and not much to do cause my ass is almost broke-- but u wanna know what i'm going to be alright- only been in DC for a lil over two weeks, I have no diseases, i'm healthy, happy, unemployed, loved, and special and shyt i have two interviws tomorrow- so, life isn't so bad after all--

- no matter what only a real man, can walk away from "everything" and trust that everything will be allright-

this is my growth