Thursday, July 16, 2009

Create a New World

Lately I've been battling with alot of my demons and realizing mistakes that I've made...let's call them lessons learned... I feel like I'm a good person...better than I've felt in a long time...I still have a way to go to become the Man I'm supposed to be but being there for my family is what's important to me... also what brought me back to DC...it's important for little girls to have support when they go to college so I'm here to be her rock without cramping her style...to give her adult advice without overstepping my boundaries...this weekend I will spend time with my brother and his wife and one of my neices...like I said I'm a Man about family...its family who watch you and pick you up when you fall...its also friends who have become like family or better put who are my extended family who help and aid me when and if I let them when I'm weak...right now it's like I Who have nothing is what I'm feeling the most.... I keep my heart guarded in order not to be hurt knowing that its inevitable will happen because after all I'm a good person... and today I did something that I wouldnt ordinarily do especially to someone who really isn't a part of my life...there's this guy I know who likes me alot..we've known each other for probably about two years...well yesterday he called me and I was like I'll call you back in 30 minutes..to make a long story short I never called him back... didn't intend to in the first place...well today he texted me and was like you never called me back...don't ask me how or where it came from but instead of bullshitting the brotha, I simply said "man that was my fault I was being selfish..I apologize..don't know what that all means or even where it came from but it felt right...for once in my life there was no regret, no fear, anger, sadness, there was just peace...i had told the truth for once... not that I'm known to be a liar, but I've told my share of stories....today I decided there was no story to be told...I was being selfish and wasted the brothas time....he deserved an apology and I was Man enough to give it to him...today i created a new world...

45 comments:

Z-Vibe said...

So, if you have known this brotha for 2yrs, and he still likes you, aren't you technically still wasting his time, if you are not providing him with what he wants from you? I can only assume by your mention that he has interest and the length of time you have known him, that there seems to be perhaps some discrepancies between what you want and what he wants. If you never really meant to call him back, isn't he still lingering on the other end?

Emotionalbrotha said...

Z-Vibe,

I don't feel like I'm wasting his time because we haven't hung out that much. We really just talk on the phone or text. We haven't been on a date and I haven't physically seen him in like a year. I'm definetely keeping my distance.

Z-Vibe said...

So, again...what does that make him? Do U see potential, or is he just a companion to keep company in your new lifestyle? Sorry...don't mean to over-analyze.

LsbnMom said...

I think that it was great of you to respond to him the way you did. Its hard to make time for others that you just arent feeling the way they feel you... I must admit, I have a friend that is like that... we met on a singles site and remained friends, but I always knew we would never be more than what were were. We have maintained friendship and boundaries and she is even coming to my wedding in March! I know its cheesy, but I think I understand why you did what you did! Keep creating a new world! :)

頭髮 said...

知識可以傳授,智慧卻不行。每個人必須成為他自己。..................................................

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