DC Pride (?)

This past weekend was Pride here in DC- the city was run rampant with any and all kinds of homosexuals and although i have never felt truly part of this great event this year presented alot of growth for me.

For the first time it didn't bother me that every (and I do mean every) type of gay was there.

For the first time if some weren't there they would have been missed because maybe I'm just so immune or really just believe in letting everyone have a good time as long as they ain't fucking wit me.

At times I wished that others had somewhat of my attitude towards some of our brothas & sisters. I say this because the weekend in large was filled with people talking about other people wither it was such and such looks a hot mess or damn boys body is banging.. or they damn are they sick?... but the one thing that worked my nerves at the end of the weekend was the endless "sissy calling".... the murmurs of "the club is full of sissies" or "they are so many sissies out here" and I'm looking for a real man..

Personally, i think to get a "real man" you got to be one but hey, everyone's ideal of masculinity is different....and I mean, this weekend i saw a few lesbians who were more masculine than some of the brothas talking bout the wanted a real man and the "sissies" better not talk to them.... i guess the weekend in a few words might be called the celebration of the pot calling the kettle black--

in the end Shakespeare said it best "if we could see oursleves through others eyes oh, what a wonderful world it would be"......

Untitled

I'm sitten here listening to Tevin Campbell sing "Tell me What you want me to do"--- Tevin used to be the shyt!!!

At any rate, my dad called me this morning- I guess we are slowly developing some sorta relationship-- it's kinda weird because for so long when i was younger i wanted a relationship with him and now he's attempting to communitcate and I don't know how to react- on my hand it's a good thing-- but on the other i don't know what i want from him-- if i want anything at all... for the meantime i've decided to just let it be what it is and to just chill...

Notes to my Heart

It's time to let it go...to learn how to forgive- to forgive everyone for everything that's happened... if we look hard enough we will find what we've always been looking for and if we ask the universe we shall recieve the peace that awaits... as he slept and i looked into his eyes i felt something for him, something unbelievable and true--- i closed my eyes and looked again.. i love the way he smells- his awardness...... i just like this dude and that's ok.. even if he he doesn't like me back the way I want him to.. it's ok..... I'm ok.. we're ok... we've come a long way to turn back and we've done well for us.. for a little dirty, poor, black boy from the projects of W.E. we've done damn good... so let the tears fall.. let the rain beat against ur cheeks because everything will be ok.....

"god" will be ok... mom will be ok.. my trifflin ass daddy will be ok... my fam will be ok., my friends dead and alive will be ok.... grandma will be ok.... right know...lets just take a few minutes to breath-- relax the anxiety and bitterness.. the rage .... and sadness and move the fuck on.... theres so much life out there.....