Wednesday, October 19, 2005

My Weekend at a Glance (Part 5 of 5)

So once we reached the district, we all intended on taking naps and then hitting the club, but I was the only one who got up. I quickly showered called my boy, AnothaPoet and headed out to the Mill.... the only problem is that I got lost and didn't reach the Mill until 3am where I discovered my boy Conceited hugging up with not one, but two negreos, one of which I knew from my Bmore days. I walked up to that niggah, agve him a big ass hug and we did what we always do- joke like a muthafucka, so that was kewl---

I finally located AnothaPoet and we gathered his crew to go to the Delta. - it was here that I realized I'm either getting older or DC is just laking the "masculine energy" that used to turn me the fuck on.... As, I stood in the club, totally sober, (remember I didn't make it there till after 4am)- I looked back and saw brothas acting like "sistas" one group of brothas reacting the scene from the Color Purple where Nettie n Celie are joking each other because Mister wants is seeking to marry- for the next 30 minutes, I witnessed more Lil Kim wannabees than I just want to be Ken, or Michael, or Jerome or whomever.... it was here that the disappoint of the weekend laid in, it was here that I turned to Conceited and said "yo I'm ready to go back home"- it was here that I realized I have major issues with "feminine" "effemimiate" "non masculine" brothas--- it was here I realized that I had hurt my freind by my behavior this weekend and there was nothing that could be said or done, the air between us would never be the same, no matter how much I wanted to hold on or remember or just be "safe", just the two of us Raymond & Kyle- this could no longer be- we would now always be distant, touching and communicating but keeping our distance- it was then that I wanted to cry, but refused- it was then that I left the club and found myself in Malcolm X park, searching for the masculine energy DC always exuded.

Once inside Malcolm X park, I saw brotha and yeah the masculine energy was there but not like it was before not like I wanted it to be, - I wanted it to be romance and intrugie and caring not beastial, lustfull longing- I had to go back to my freinds house and digest everything the weekend had brought to me......

1 comment:

E said...

It's tough being the only masculine brothat in the room. I totally feel you.